How to confidently speak
your truth with Ruby Fremon

EPISODE 04

 

July 8th, 2021

How would you like to be able to speak your truth with confidence just by being you? 

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About this episode

In this episode, Transformational Coach & Mentor for Thought Leaders,  Ruby Fremon is sharing her expertise on how Introverts and highly sensitive souls can show up with integrity online without sacrificing their integrity and identity to fit into an extrovert dominated online world.

 

Ruby will help guide you on how to uncover who you are and know your truth so you can infuse your essence into your online presence. You will learn how to start using social media with intention and on your own terms for meaningful connection without sacrificing integrity. You will get insights on handling negative comments and opposing belief systems with strength & grace. Ruby also discussed how you can unlock the conscious leader within and why the world needs more sensitive female leaders.

In this episode we discuss:

  • Ruby’s Story (04.05)

  • Taking the first step to drop the mask and show up as your true self (13.24)

  • Uncovering who you really are. How to shift your identity with awareness and compassion (18.46)

  • Practices for peeling back the layers to reveal your true nature (21.54)

  • Ruby’s tips for confidently speaking your potent truth on social media with intention (27.42)

  • How Ruby deal’s with online negativity and haters with integrity and grace (31:41)

  • ‘Your purpose needs you’! Ruby’s advice for emerging thought leaders (37:16)

  • ‘Fake AF’, sharing stories from ruby’s book ‘Potent Leadership’ to ignite who you really are (42:26)

  • ‘I’m not good enough’ - healing the core of all limiting beliefs? (44:57)

  • ‘Just Keep Going!' : Sending a message of love to yourself (46:03)

Show Notes

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Ruby Fremon is a certified life coach, NLP practitioner, leadership mentor and speaker who has helped thousands gain the confidence to quit performing, crystalize their messaging, and lead their movements with integrity.

An expert on personal growth and inner-work, Ruby is the host of top-rated podcast “Potent Truth” (formerly known as “Today’s Thought Leader”) and has appeared in over 100 publications and podcasts. She works with her clients one on one, or in group settings at her live retreats and in her Collective.

Known for her big heart, no-bullshit approach and shamanic gifts, Ruby’s work bridges the gap between practicality and spirituality, offering leaders an opportunity to create true inner-expansion. Her favorite topics to speak on include potent leadership and conscious entrepreneurship, which have landed her on stages around the world.

Ruby sees herself as an advocate for humanity, and uses her online presence to encourage her community to question the narrative, and cultivate true sovereignty of mind, body, and spirit. She currently lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and their two dogs, Luke and Leia. Potent Leadership is her first book.

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Boldness can be loud, boldness can be quiet. Potency can be very fiery or your potency can be a little softer. It's what makes you YOU! That's what I encourage you to bring to the table.

Ruby Fremon

 
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Thank you my friend for listening, I truly appreciate you being here. Did you enjoy the show?

 

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Episode Transcript

Paul Juggins 

It is beautiful to have you with us. You are so welcome. 

Ruby Fremon  

Thank you, Paul, thank you so much for having me. It's amazing to finally just connect in this way outside of Instagram.

 

Paul Juggins 

I know, I know, we've been in each other's worlds for a little while. And here we are. And it's lovely to reconnect and feel your energy in this way. So as we just heard, at the top of the show, we heard a little bit about your story, a little snippet of your bio, I think for the listener, I'd love it, if you would give us some of those defining moments that have really led you to where you are right now, as an expert in leadership, this voice driving this whole new paradigm and leadership if you give us a little bit of insight into that we would love Love, Love to hear.

 

Ruby Fremon  

Oh, yeah, so my journey has been one where it felt like I was hovering at rock bottom for a really, really long time. And I definitely had more than one rock bottom moment that led to certain epiphanies that have really become the stepping stones for where I'm at today. For a long time as a child, I grew up in the Indian culture with immigrant parents in Canada is where I was raised. You know, my parents were doing their absolute best with what they knew and what they were familiar with. But for me, it felt like everything that I wanted to be wasn't acceptable, and who I was wasn't good enough. And it felt like I was being trained and groomed to be a certain way to please the people around me my entire life. And so by the time I was a teenager, I was extremely rebellious, doing everything I shouldn't be doing.

 

Because I was so desperate to just find myself. I continued to repress who I was in order to be loved and accepted by my family, by our cultural society by the people around me, I struggled to fit expectations and felt like I needed to, I got married at a very young age and in my first marriage, and that's when things really started to get really troublesome. Like, that's when I started to realize that I really wasn't happy. At the age of 23, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety disorder, or fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, just a lot of things that left me feeling debilitated. Like there are many days I couldn't get out of bed, I was in so much pain. Doctors put me on a bunch of prescriptions, and one of which was highly addictive. And I became an addict through prescription drugs at the young age of 23. And that led me down a completely different path of understanding that well, I can actually check out and I can numb out and I don't have to feel the heaviness of everything I'm feeling. I eventually got divorced and went on a much darker path, started experimenting with recreational drugs, I was drinking a lot. I mean, I was drinking since I was 13, I had really cultivated a deep habit of numbing myself, and my pain, the pain of not feeling free to be myself or not feeling free to use my voice or show up in my expression.

 

It wasn't until my early 30s when I was really a full-blown addict partying every night, numbing out in every way you can imagine surrounded by toxic people, toxic friends, toxic relationships, that I really hit rock bottom again, I ended a very abusive relationship. And I found myself looking in the mirror after that, and really just not recognizing the woman that was standing in the mirror and really seeing the depth of the sadness and what had done to me and wanting different I think that when we reach that point, or an or like, you know, I really just want something different. You may not know what that difference is, you may not know what that version of your life is. And that was the case for me. I had no idea what that looked like. I just knew I didn't want to feel the sad anymore. I didn't want to have this toxicity in my life anymore. I didn't want to be this person anymore that was constantly trying to please others, and lead her life for others.

 

So I started improving my life in the ways that I knew how taking control of my physical body eating better working out exercising, and once I start to feel good physically or feel better physically, I started getting into personal development and experimenting with expanding my mind and really diving deeper into my spirituality. Who am I really, and it became this journey of self love of self discovery of uncovering who I was beneath all those masks that I've been wearing beneath the performances, the pretending all of that, just really coming back into connection with my truth and my expression and my potency and in doing so I found the freedom that I felt I was chasing my entire life.

My life doesn't have to look a certain way to feel free, it was really just about me feeling free to be me. And when I got into the coaching industry, I got into this because I really wanted to do something in my life that felt purposeful. And as I was navigating this dark journey, I was actually showing up in really transparent ways online and just sharing bits and pieces of my story and blog posts and quotes. And I was getting a lot of feedback from people like a lot of messages from people saying how it was really helping them and I realised, well, this, this feels purposeful.

 

So I went and got trained as a certified coach, my NLP really dove headfirst into the coaching world. And then when I started my business, that's when all this stuff came back into the surface, like, oh, if I want to be successful, I need to look like that. Or if I want to build a business, I need to do it this way, following some cookie-cutter practices and manipulating my image to look and be a certain way. And I realised, wow, I'm just doing this all over again, like I'm just losing myself in this online space. I'm losing myself in the coaching industry when this is not who I want to be, I want to show up as me and so if anything, my journey with entrepreneurship has been another level of deep personal development and spiritual development of coming face to face with my truth, my expression, my voice, and who I be, and really learning how to stand with conviction in that despite what other people may say, or think of me, and really building my business my way leading my mission, my way.

 

And that's when I really started working, shifting my work to leaders because I realised that this is a problem that is rampant in the online leadership space, as well as the offline leadership space. There's a lot of people who think that in order to be a leader, you need to be X, Y, and Z. In order to be perceived as a leader perceived as successful or perceived as someone who knows what they're doing. You need to fit this box, or this persona, and they lose themselves in it. And there's no fulfillment in that. In fact, a lot of people end up creating great success, but they don't feel good about anything that they've created, because it's so misaligned. And so I've chosen to take this work that I do, and in helping people really reclaim who they are, and do this work with people who see themselves as leaders or who really have a mission or a purpose that they want to lead. Because I believe that there's not one way to do anything. And the reason we are who we are, and the reason why we have the purposes that we have is because it is us who need to lead that purpose. No one else can. And we get to do it our way.

 

 

Paul Juggins

And this is why you're here. This is why I really wanted you to come on the show. Because you live and breathe this inner strength. You've been through this journey, you have to go deep inside to get in touch with who you really are you committed to life.

 

And there's a strength about the way you speak about leadership now and about truth in potent truth, which we'll talk about because this really a phrase that I guess you've coined is potent truth is what we associate with you, and how to really start expressing that potent truth, that deep inner truth in a way that feels aligned, coming from doing the work that the inner leadership work first, once you were faced with that, and you had to do and commit to it, and you did all those things. And we can get into a little bit later about how you got to that to liberate I think that inner leadership, now you are able, I think, to walk that path with integrity, because you've done it for yourself. And you can see it when others when when they're veering off the path and you can gently but with action, help them realise that. And so this is perfect for this topic that we're gonna explore today about, you know, as sensitive people, we find it a little challenging to really express ourselves. And I've been on this journey as well cultivating my inner work and who I am to express who I am more articulately with more confidence to share my truth with the world.

 

But I know it can be quite triggering, being able to go online, especially just the ecosystem that we work in, right. To be able to be seen and be heard and to speak with authority. I think it's a beautiful thing. It's something that we all want to feel aligned and be able to do. But it brings up a lot of challenges. And I think that's what we're really going to dig into in the episode. So one thing that you've talked about Ruby is wearing a mask and this is something that really speaks to my heart and I talk a lot about this as well as the feeling and the pressure to shift your identity. You know, multiple stages through to your life as you evolve to you know, look for external validation or to please people or just to literally fit in and survive. I've kind of come back to an era from a very compassionate place. I think of it while I was just trying to survive. I was adapting to to my environment. I was contorting myself though, you know, to fit

into this extroverted world. So I would love to hear a little bit about taking that first step into dropping the pretense dropping the mask, and really connecting and owning that sensitive voice that's within you.

 

Ruby Fremon

I think the best place to start is to unplug, especially for people who feel highly sensitive, if you really want to tune into to your voice, because when you're highly sensitive, it almost feels like you have a million different voices running through your head at the same time. And they're all talking above each other, you know, and you're questioning well wait, which one is speaking the truth, which one is really mine. And so to quiet that noise, you you have to unplug. And like you said, we're living in this ecosystem, where we are leading on technology right now, especially nowadays. And so we're always plugged in, we've got our laptops, our iPhones, our every single device, our screens, or iPads, like everything I were always, always always loved. Although I believe in consuming content for inspiration to stay informed, there's also a problem with overconsumption and when you are over consuming, and many times we do this without even really realising that we're over consuming, you know, how many times have you been in line at the grocery store, and you take out your phone, start scrolling, it's become so passive. Exactly. And it's still you're consuming even if you think you're not consciously taking in information, your eyes, you know, they work as these like projector screens, and they project what you're seeing in the external world back into your brain. And so everything is taken in. So imagine all of this time that you're spending consuming. We need to unplug from that and create space for us to reconnect with our truth. So if you feel like you've been plugged in for a long time, do a social media detox, do a digital detox of all devices, and have it go through a you know, two day minimum, you know, just give yourself a weekend to breathe. And then once you've done that, make that a part of your daily ritual have unplugged blocks of time, especially at the beginning of the day, when you're just getting up, the worst thing you can do for yourself is fill that mental space, and that energetic space with the voices of others. Yes. So you need to cultivate a habit of creating space for you to connect with yourself before you connect with the world. It's so important otherwise, we especially the highly sensitive ones, it's so easy to lose track and lose sight of who we are and of our voice and what we really want to say. Because we bombard ourselves with what everyone else is saying. So that to me is like the first step. And the most important one creating space.

 

Paul Juggins

Yeah, creating space for yourself to read and then utilising that space to connect with yourself right to really listen to tune in. And there's practices for that, too. You know, some people are listening, they're like, well, would I do it, I just sit in silence. It's like, Don't grab a journal, start writing, you know, write for the sake of just writing instead of writing for the sake of creating content, just write take time to do that, to see what actually flows through you when you don't put the pressure of creating content on your shoulders. So just by committing to the self-growth journey, I think isn't the end, we have to take action and actually put it physically into our day, or else it'll never get done. Making that radical commitment to self-growth is for me, personally, one of the greatest things I've ever done for myself, but I see it all the time that we're inclined. So you can just take that moment to Okay, I'm not gonna mindlessly scroll or do this or do that. I remember the I'm here, there's someone here who needs nurture and care and nourishment and development. And that takes time that takes you know, inner work and practice have all these different various forms, but you've got to give that gift to yourself. I think part of dropping the pretence and dropping the mask is dropping an identity that you've assumed. And that in in is a big challenge, right? Because if you've been conditioned in portraying this part of you for many, many years, that is your default mode. And we need to unplug it and rewire and in a very beautiful gentle way but you need to take that action. What's really helped me reframe This is like an identity shift. To get to the core of who I am, who I am being to access the inner truth, I've got to go on that journey or going on this inner journey it's a journey for life right but you got to make that initial Okay, I'm gonna head off inside these old parts of my identity they kind of need to die they need to be let go and kind of put to rest for there to be this rebirth and reconnection of who's really in here and shedding the conditioned mind shedding those old bits and pieces of identity that made up someone who really isn't who is here.

 

So I think to really understand yourself and to really find your truth before you can speak it, right, that's the first step I think is going inside to find out exactly who you are and what you want to say in the world. So I'm wondering what you think about diving deep into find in who you really are. I know you've you've tried lots of different practices. And I'm wondering, yeah, like, do you agree with that? Do you have to kill off these old parts of you to find out who you really are to speak your truth?

 

Ruby Fremon

 

I do. But I think that there's a step before that's really important is you have to understand acknowledge these identities. I think most people are living on autopilot. And they don't know who they're being, they can't even discern whether or not they're performing or if this is really what they truly are. And so you need to get to a point where you can acknowledge all the masks that you've been wearing. And not just that, but acknowledge why because I think that there's a gift and understanding why we do what we do and why we operate the way we operate.

 

To be honest, most of us are wearing masks as a self-preservation technique, we're doing it to keep ourselves safe. Like at some point in our lives, we're shown it's not safe to be who we are. So in order to be safe, aka loved, accepted, feel like we can belong, you have to Don this mask, and it has to look a certain way. And so when you start to understand and start to unravel from these autopilot mechanisms and the masks that you've been wearing, then it becomes easier to detach yourself from these masks. And then from there comes the real hard work, which is uncovering who you are. And it's like, for so long in your life, you've been operating as someone completely different. So of course, it's going to take you some time to uncover who you are you think of it this way, you haven't even given yourself the opportunity to be you to explore what that means.

 

You know, it's understanding what is it that you actually value and not the values that were projected upon you? What is it that actually feels meaningful to you? What actually brings you joy? What is it that you truly love versus things that people have told you, you need to love? It's like when you start dating someone, you start to uncover who they are, this is the same thing, you're dating yourself, you're cultivating a relationship, you're getting to know yourself for the first time. And that takes some time. And it takes some love. And it takes some nurturing, and it takes a willingness to dive deep and follow those things that feel meaningful, following the things that feel valuable that feel like they're sparking joy within you the things that feel fulfilling and letting go of the rest.

 

Absolutely. I think it takes a lot of kindness and compassion to because we don't really want to face there's a reason why we've been numbing and why we were in this mass ruin, it's very uncomfortable and painful to address that and to accept a as this is happening. Now, okay, I've got to deal with that. Because that analyze the problem, right. That's why we've been avoiding the whole time. So I always like to invite in compassionate element and loving-kindness, because to do that deep inner work that maybe you can share a little bit about as well as that I know firsthand how difficult it is, you know like we really are severing these old parts of us. Even though we don't like them, they become some way comfortable because they provide protection and safety. So bringing that air of inner warmth and kindness and love to treat he was here with tenderness in our because underneath all that armor, the emotional armor and masters, there's someone here has been hurt and can't really shine and be whom they want to be someone or maybe someone's the practices or where have you had the biggest breakthrough moments, do you think on your journey where you really got to the core of like, Ah, this is who's here. And this is where, where you really found that soul mission to kind of go and do what you're doing.

 

Ruby Fremon

For me, it's felt like, like peeling back layers. And quite often when I have those big breakthrough, epiphanies, those moments, it's like, I had that moment, a while back, but I'm realising it now. If that makes any sense, like it's felt like that, like it's felt like I've just been stripping away uncovering, and then sometimes I'll pause and reflect and be like, oh, wow, that happened. And a lot of the work that I do, you know, I've worked with, quote, my own coaches and mentors, which has been so, so valuable, I think it's so important that you just have an outlet, a space where you can lean in and be super open a space that allows you to explore yourself and your life. And just like have someone to serve as a guide to reflect back to you that's been pivotal for me just to have that space because for most of my life, I felt like I didn't have that space for me to lean in and just beat me. So that's been very, very pivotal. And then of course, just doing this work with clients. I feel I am uncovering more of myself.

 

Every single day showing up online, Funny enough, as funny as it sounds, I feel like every time I show up online or create content, I'm learning something new about me, it's a new challenge. It's like how much more of myself Can I put into this? Or what aspects of this don't really feel like me. So it's the constant self observation, I would call it a constant self observation, just observing myself in the moment without judgement. And getting curious. That's something I've definitely cultivated is a genuine curiosity for why I show up the way I show up why I say the things I say why I'm doing the things that I'm doing, and just letting that curiosity lead me to deeper depths of who I am.

 

Ruby Fremon

And then another big part of my personal journey has been just utilizing plant medicine, I'm in a very, I've been in a very deep relationship with plant medicine since 2018. In 2018, it just, it was calling me and I didn't know why. But I also knew that I needed to, I needed something different to help me reach deeper levels of my trauma that I wasn't able to reach. It's like when you know, there's something there. But you can't get to that space. So I turned to plant medicine, I've just been in a really deep relationship with plant medicine since then, sitting in ceremony regularly, not for the plants to save me or do the work for me. But to use that space, when I'm in that space as an deeper opportunity for me to observe myself without any defences up. So that's been a big, big space for me. And then I would say, finally, just having the right people around me, that was a huge journey for me to go from always surrounding myself with toxic people to like learning how to surround myself with good people, and good people who support me, and even more than support me, people who actually see me. And that's really importance being seen. Yeah, they see me for who I am and not for a certain persona. And having those people in your life is so important, because then they reflect back to you the things that you may have forgotten about yourself, they can also reflect back to you who you are in those times when you need that reflection. And so they serve as this really potent aspect of your self discovery, because they're able to be the mirror. Yeah, and they cherish you for who you really are. There's no, you can drop all of the masks the pretence, you know, and have a community around you who's like really nourishing, and just values you so deeply for who you are, and you do feel seen and accepted. And, yeah, it's a beautiful thing to have people like that. And having that kind of courage to remove yourself from, you know, old toxic relationships that don't work anymore. being brave. And taking that leap, I think is a beautiful thing to unpack, thank you for sharing your journey with all the different methodologies that you use.

 

And I think there's, you know, there's probably a whole episode in there on its own, but it's like using all of the tools available, but like doing it from a place of intuition, you know, because there's so many different methodologies and ways that we can use to peel back the layers, as you saw sort of eloquently said, as that tuning in of finding what's right for you, you know, these different modalities spoke to you. And it's great and courageous that you went and pursued them, you know, and this is what something I admire deeply about is that you do the work. There's this integrity there, there's self-leadership, right? It has to start here, inside before we can ever go in and really assist people in the way that we know we're here to do. And what I'm curious about now is that you're at that point where you've really liberated more and more and more of this true essence, you know, the Ruby that is here to serve in this highest possible way. It sounds like you're really, really fine-tune in and getting closer and closer and closer. Maybe you have really discovered it. So I'm really curious now, how do you begin to use that true voice with confidence and integrity? It's like, Okay, I know who I am. I know what I'm here to do. Okay, I'm going to begin I'm going to start speaking. I know you coach a lot around like infusing your presence, you know, online using social media, especially with the intention to make meaningful connections and, and spread your word in a very truthful and aspirational and inspiring way. What are some of those steps that you can advise people listening, who feel like speaking their truth, but there is that little hesitancy or that those old blocks if you have a few tips, that would be wonderful.

 

Ruby Fremon

 

Yeah, the first one is not going to be perfect ever. It'll never it'll never feel or be perfect. You'll never be the right time. It'll never be the perfect time or the perfect scenario like. None of that. And this journey, this is a practice speaking your truth as a practice, being in your potency as a practice, and just really owning the fact that this is a practice, there is no end goal in sight, your entire life is going to be the journey of self discovery. That's just it. Because every day, you are evolving every day you're shifting, even if you don't realise that you are because every day we are growing. So to know that just allow yourself the freedom to share what feels right for you. In that moment, I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to say, Well, I just want to show the world all that I am. And it's like, well, that's probably why you're hesitating because you're trying to show all of it all at once. And that's intimidating for anyone. And it's kind of impossible to do that. So just start with where you're at start with what is it that you really want to say just say that? What is it that you really want to do just do that, start there. And doing that will support you in building the confidence and the courage to continue doing that, you know, you've got to get in the reps, you've got to build those muscles, and you just keep going at it. You know, that's been my journey. For me, it's just this constant leaning in, let's see how much further I can lean in. Let's see how much further I can lean into my voice, lean into my truth, lean into my potency, lean into my expression. And in doing so knowing that there are going to be people out there that don't agree with it that don't align with it that don't like it. But you're not here for everyone, you know, trying to be everything for everyone is what got you into that predicament in the first place. Right? Yeah. So focus on the people that you're here for. Yeah. And the person that you really need to focus on is you first and foremost. And then the people that the other people that you're here for. And again, it's a practice, it's not just gonna all come out perfectly in one day, you're not just going to show up and have this completely different presence online or in person. It's just this practice of giving yourself permission to be you. I like the permission I think is a beautiful word. It's allowing, allowing the essence to just flow and without any block. Yeah, just what's was true today, what is that truth that you need to share today?

 

Paul Juggins

The way I like to reframe it for how I reframed it for myself, and for clients, as well as that, what I'm here to do, like the mission, and the truth is far more important than the fear. You know, it's not to negate the fear. It's like, okay, that's present. But there's something here that I'm to do that is much more important than that, you know, and that really helps me ground back into my mission and my purpose. And it helps me kind of work through those little moments of like, Oh, I want to say this, but Well, what's gonna happen, you know, and I think it just feels like, Okay, I know what I'm here to do. I'm raising consciousness with love, compassion, and my words and my presence, and it's okay, if I mess up, it's okay, if x y&z happens, it doesn't matter. It's the intention, the purity of what's here, I think, coming back to that, that really kind of gets me excited again about it. And it helps me kind of gently dissolve off here.

 

One quick little thing I'd love to ask is how you deal with negativity, opposing beliefs online, because as someone who really does speak their truth, you're very vocal about what you believe. And, again, it's something I deeply admire about you. But I know for me in the past, and for sensitive people as well, that is probably one of the fear number one is like, well, what if I get rejected? What if I get hate or if I get called out online, so I'm just wondering how you deal with it now, because I'm sure you've you've built up again, those muscles, like you say, maybe you could shed a little insight onto that?

 

Ruby Fremon

 

 So my number one value that I discovered on this journey of self-discovery is his integrity. So I cannot operate out of integrity at everything that I say, the way in which I show up online, the things I take a stand for. I cannot not do it. That would be operating out of integrity for me. It just I have to, in that have I lost people Sure. Have I lost audience. Yes. Have I lost family members? Yes. Like it's been. It can be very difficult, and very trying on your heart, just being human, and just having feelings. You know, it's hard. But Would I rather live my life, stifling my voice and my truth, just to please those around me or would I rather feel that freedom from them by expressing my truth, I'd rather feel that freedom. That's what's more important to me. And knowing that I do so from a place of integrity. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not causing harm to anyone. I am operating from the goodness of my heart. This is who I am. You know, with

 

When it comes to haters, I mean, for example, I have had a YouTube channel since 2000. And I think it started in 2014. And I feel like the biggest haters are the ones on youtube funny enough, they can be brutal. So yeah, they're also the most ridiculous, like really hiding behind their screens. And that's what I had to realise. Like, they say some pretty mean things like on YouTube, they really go at you, and they can go after your physical parents. And they, they just, it gets really, really messy. For me, it was like, the whole journey of self-discovery of self-love is just understanding who I am. And really owning who that is. and surrounding myself with good people. I love who I am. I love my journey. And so if people troll me, or if I have haters that are saying things to me or people who don't accept me anymore, I will observe myself at that moment and make sure I'm still operating out of integrity. And if I am, it's like, Okay, great. I'm not for that. But it doesn't mean that the human in me isn't hurting in that moment, right? There's a human in all of us, and we get to have our feelings, we get to feel sad or grief or angry, we get to feel those things. But then I process those emotions, and I keep going.

 

Ruby Fremon

I am so done with living my life for everyone. And it's so exhausting, trying to be everything for everyone, trying to please everyone trying to make everyone happy, trying to fit a persona that isn't you, there's so much more ease and grace and just being who you are, and then also understanding that you're not for everyone. So for those of you listening, like Is it scary? Yes, it's scary, you know, and I and I still can get scared. But at the same time, I am just very, very grateful for the human being that I am. And I love who I am. And it's taken me a lot of work to get here. And the more that I continue to show up in my potency, and my sovereignty is in my truth, the more I start to find those who align with who I truly am. And that's when you start to realize, oh, there is there's something to this, you know, there's some magic to this, the more I show up in my authenticity, the more I attract more like-minded people, and the better my life gets. It's just a transition of you going through a new way of operating a new way of showing up. Always remember you're not here for everyone, you're not

 

Paul Juggins

That's really touched my heart, I have to say it was really beautiful. And I such a testament, I think to the commitment that you made those years ago to do that inner work to keep on doing it, you know, so when you do have those moments, just on that soul level, feel that pain from the attack, you're able to just move outside and still move forward, just being who you are. And just want to acknowledge that in you. I think that is a beautiful, beautiful thing. And it's I think I see as like the Keystone in this sort of new paradigm of leadership that you are the face of now and how I see you aren't showing up online, you're really to me unlocking conscious leadership by going so deep and so true. These are the steps that need to happen for you to really authentically Be who you are and share that. And for me, who you know, I consider myself an emerging thought leader, right?

 

I'm at the start of my journey. And it's something that I want to pursue. And there's I'm sure a great many deal listeners who feel like that as well as they want to step in more into that leadership role, they have something that's very important, and they want to be that focal point for their community. And I think something that's very important to both of us as well is that we definitely do a lot of work around empowering, sensitive female leaders too, right. And I think we both share those values about how important it is to have the female voice and the female energy and presence in every single space. So maybe if you could give some advice around, you know, rising female leaders, emerging thought leaders who are sensitive souls, but have this burning mission to really own thought leadership within them. Maybe you could give us some words of insight and advice. That would be beautiful.

Ruby Fremon

Yeah, your purpose and your mission, your purpose needs you. Period. Like it just needs you. So this purpose, this mission, that you have this vision, it'll just stay in your head for the rest of your life unless you give it life. It needs you to lead it. Yeah. And I think that's really important to understand it needs you. It needs you. And it doesn't have to be led perfectly. The first time around. This is a journey. It's a process. You also don't have to be the perfect leader to lead it. There's no such thing. Perfection is a perception. It's it's just, that's just it, it's false. You get to lead it your way. I want to share thisstory because I think it'll really resonate with a lot of your listeners.

 

I mean, I find myself kind of matching your energy on this podcast, but I can be very, I don't want to be loud animated, especially when I'm on stage and very vocal, very fully expressed, I do a lot of primal screaming work with my clients and at events. And so there's a fiery boldness that comes out of me, that is part of my natural state. And I think that when we see that when you see other leaders create these inspirational videos, or whatever it is, we feel like we need to embody that expression or that form of expression in order to be seen as a leader. And that is completely false. Because if you try and be like other people, my very, very first speaking gig, it was 2016. I was kind of like the new kid on the block. There was all these really well established thought leaders of this era that, you know, were doing amazing things that I was looking up to for inspiration, I was like, Oh, my God, am I doing this one pinch me, like, I'm speaking next to all these people. And I remember watching them go up on stage one by one and seeing them and seeing how they were showing up and how they looked and how they're using their arms and expressing themselves. One was even doing somersaults. And like it was just energy was palpable. And I was like, Oh, my God, like, I think I need to do that in order to just be seen as a credible leader next to these people. And I remember standing on the side of the stage when they were about to call me up. And I was like, I can't do this, I can't do this. I can't I can't be like them. I don't even know it doesn't feel like me. And once they called my name, I just unconsciously took my shoes off. And I walked up on stage first time speaking at an event and there was like, a No, I think, like 400 people in the room. I spoke barefoot on the stage in my fire in my boldness, not weaving in and out of the audience, like a lot of the other people not doing somersaults, not, you know, just showing up.

 

But I spoke in a way that felt very, very me and I received a standing ovation. And people were crying. And people were very moved. And a lot of people came up to me just commenting on the different energy between me and others. And another story with this is at my events, and I do a lot of work with with just expression at the events. And there's always like one or two people by the by day three of my three day event, they're cussing like me, because I tend to cuss a lot.

 

They're they're speaking like me, and I'm like, and always catch them and say, is this actually you? Or are you marrying or mimicking? How I'm showing up because you think that that's what you need to be. And most of the time people don't realize this. And so to everyone listening, don't think that you have to show up, like me, or like Paul, or like someone else. boldness can be loud, boldness can be quiet, you know, potency can be very fiery, or your potency can be a little softer. It's what makes you you, that's what I encourage you to bring to the table.

 

Paul Juggins

So good. It's beautiful. so wonderful. Yeah, people can be as calm as quiet as loud as it needs to be just again, coming back to who was here and expressing yourself. I think that's a beautiful point about how you echoed back to those people coming up to begin to emulate you out of respect and kind of acknowledging who you are. I think that's a beautiful thing to kind of catch up and say, Hey, I see that I but that's not really you, right. I think that's a really cool, great point. I really, really admire that. So I want to talk a little bit about your book. I'm super excited about this. Okay, so for everyone listening Ruby is just released a brand new book is called potent leadership, drop the mask, ignite the real you, and reclaim that leader within. And it's going to have all of these traits and wisdom leading you through these different topics. But I would love to hear Ruby, what was one of your favorite chapters to write in that book? When you wrote it, you were it just lit you up? I would love to know if there's a story or just something that when you put it onto paper, you were like, this feels great.

 

Ruby Fremon

I mean, there are multiple stories in there. I share a lot of my own personal stories and some client stories. I think instead of a chapter there's like a definitely a favourite part. Okay. And I would say like part one of the book, which is entitled fake an f I don't know if I'm allowed to swear here. Because fuck is the first the first part of the book and the three-part book. And my coaching is very bold. I like to think of myself as someone who just highlights what needs to be highlighted without trying to sugarcoat it, period. Like that's just who I am. as some people that's very difficult, but most people when they come to me, they understand that this is what they're getting.